Theological college? Would it be for me?

The husband has just started a 4-year Theological course based in Wales. He had his first week this week. It should've been a residential but was instead live lectures on Zoom - sometimes until 9.30pm. He's now shattered. He's made copious notes, got book lists coming out of his ears, three essays to write in three months, and is feeling pretty daunted. Excited but also daunted. It's exciting because it's the start of what we think is God's plan for the next stage of our lives. But daunting because so much seems over his head. 

When he was looking into studying, I felt a bit left out to be honest. I didn't want him to keep on growing spiritually and leave me behind. I even thought about doing some kind of formal studying myself. But listening in to lots of the lectures this week has made me realise that it's just too full on and made me consider all that I didn't know rather than all that I did. That made me feel a bit anxious. 

So, I'm happy to listen in when I can, happy to help him with his essays and be someone he can discuss things with ... but I'm leaving it there. I'll learn through him.

Instead, I'm going to keep going with what works for me, not what works for him. I'm really content to keep reading the books I want to read rather the books that have been suggested on a list. 

So, I'm going to tell you just a little bit about the most recent book I've read. It's by Guvna B and is called Unspoken: Toxic masculinity and how I faced the man within the man. I'm a 50-year old white woman and have nothing in common with a black rapper in his early 30s. But I really enjoyed his book and I admire his honesty and openness.

The husband will tell you he's best mates with Guvna B. Good grief. We've seen him perform a couple of times when he's been supporting Rend Collective (my favourite Christian band). When being passed my next pint of cider (Christian gigs are great - there are never queues at the bar and everyone is just so lovely and polite!), Guvna B walked by and the husband and him had a little chat. Emphasis on the little here. 

Best friends they may not be, but whenever we catch a mention of Guvna B on TV we always make a point of listening. That's when I heard about his new book - I think we caught him on that cookery show that's by the guys that like football (you can see it's not a programme we usually watch!). But I was a bit disappointed when I heard him speak about his book. Yes he spoke about his challenging upbringing, and the death of his father and how that tipped him to breaking point, he talked about males - especially in the black community - not being able to share their emotions and how devastating that can be - but not once did he share anything of his faith. He didn't even mention God or that he was a Christian. Is that something that's not allowed on TV? 

Anyway, I bought the book regardless and read it pretty quickly. Guvna B opens his heart in it. It's raw and powerful, open and honest ... and absolutely jam-packed with his faith. Oh the relief! I have huge admiration for the man for displaying his journey with grief so eloquently. 

So this is the kind of learning I want to do. Not forced reading lists and essays but true live people living out true events alongside their true God. I'll still support the husband as much as I can, and I look forward to the additional learning this will bring, but at the moment I'm very content with my choice.